Emcee Marcus

Snapped this right before we left my wife's grandma's house tonight

I just spent the last 4 hours or so emceeing for a family party. It was a disaster. A fun disaster.

I was given a rough schedule to follow, which included a welcome, a prayer to be done by one of three different people, a toast to be done by the brother of the groom, a bunch of games and a couple of dance performances. And of course, karaoke. Let me back up a bit.

My wife's uncle got married a while back in the Philippines. However, he lives here in Hawaii. His bride had to go through a waiting period before she could move here and recently made the move. Today's party was called an "Anniversary and Homecoming Party".

A lot of family and friends were invited to my wife's grandma's house in Ewa and there was a whole lot of food cooked. Our contribution came in the form of a large cooler with 80 lbs of ice and a couple of cases of soda and a case of bottled water (thanks, Costco!). And there was a keg. Which took over two hours and three different attempts to finally tap. How many Filipinos does it take to tap a keg?

When we got the party started, I was quickly informed that the groom's brother would not be doing a toast, so that was skipped. And my wife's grandma was hungry, so we basically skipped ahead to the prayer, which grandma did, and opened up the food line without any real welcome at all. So far, so good.

After giving guests time to eat, I was pulled aside by aunty "Party Coordinator", who explained an upcoming game to me. I'll skip the explanation and tell you that initially no one volunteered to play, until one person did, who then was given a prize without having to play because of a lack of competition. This sort of thing continued throughout the night. Aunty "PC" would tell me that there was a game (often with sexual innuendo thrown in), I'd put the call out to the crowd, and there would be little to no interest.

It went something like this. "How's everyone doing?" No response. "I've got some exciting news, for you all. It's time for a game! I'm looking for couples who want to win something!" No response. 

We did have a few family members who braved the ridicule of their peers and took part, so although it was painful each time I announced another game, they mostly went okay.

When it was finally time to start karaoke, I was told that the bride would NOT be singing a song (although it was on the schedule), and it was no surprise that no one offered to sing the first song, leaving me to get things started with Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive. I was tearing it up, but never finished.

My wife gave me the "it's time to go" look with our youngest in her arms, so I excused myself, handed off the mic, and helped pack up some food. I did overhear the groom take up the mic to finish off the song, doing just as well, if not better than myself. We said our goodbyes, got a bottle of wine and some other goodies (prizes from the games that didn't get played) as a thanks for our help (my wife had been tending the guest sign in table throughout the party) and was on our way.

"Well, that was mostly a disaster," I thought to myself. But at least I had fun.

Congratulations to the happy couple! Hope you had even more fun than I did!